youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize