On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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