Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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