i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
