she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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