So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
