It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize