Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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