Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize