That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
