He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
