there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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