R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
