Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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