Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
