he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
