I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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