just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
