Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
