Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
