I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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