Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
