He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
