tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
