I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Enjoy the penises
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
