Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
