R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Randomize
