I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
