I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
