I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
