Heybabeimwearingurpanties
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
