I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We have so much sex to catch up on
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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