you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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