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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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