Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
