he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
