dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
