What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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