I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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