You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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