Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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