Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
