When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
