sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
