Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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