I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
