dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
