mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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