so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
