The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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