Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
