5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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