it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
