ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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