On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
