too bad you live with your parents still
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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