Fuck appropriateness.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
