So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
vagina is talking i cant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
