How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
