I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
