I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
