I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
