ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize