But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
