tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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