YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
