I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
