Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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