just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
