Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
