What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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