Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
