oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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