First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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