I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
