i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
